Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
