so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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