Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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