I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
