I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
