I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
