oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
