I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
