Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
