Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
