Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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