The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
