I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
