Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
