i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
