Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
