since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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