scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
