she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
