oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
