I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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