it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Come see our sink grown plant.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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