New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
