I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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