They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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