If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
