we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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