carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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