In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dignity is for republicans.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize