He is such a slut. More and more my type.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
