we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
