Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
