Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
