Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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