You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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