The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
