I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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