I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
