Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
