Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
