Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
