Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
