doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
