K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
