SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am naked and annoyed.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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