Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
