I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
