You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
two words...techno handjob
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Houston, we have a blender
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
