I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
