I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
